written by Nat
I’m conflicted as to what I should wear during my classmate’s debut this Saturday and also, I have to give a speech so yeah, I’m kinda screwed because I haven’t worked on it yet. Plus if things can get any worse, well it just did. Let me list down the things I still need to work on for next week:
 Study for Math Finals this March 25, 2013
 Study for PE Finals this March 25,2013
 Study for Bio Long Exam this March 25, 2013
 Study for Chem Long Exam this March 27, 2013
 Make Prob set for Chem to be submitted on God knows when
Hmmm. I think that’s all I need to worry for next week so far. Well, here goes to a week of no sleep!
I don’t want to get upset that due to the issue of Kristel’s death, We’re suffering a very tight schedule due to the unnecessary suspension of classes. I mean, just because there’s a wake in the College of Arts and Sciences doesn’t mean everyone should have to suffer? If Kristel were alive, I’m sure she wouldn’t settle for this crap! I thought we should value education, why are classes being so suspended so easily now instead of times when the great river of Taft was sweeping away the students? We’re way off schedule and we have make-up classes on a God damn SATURDAY! We’re just students! We and our professors also have a personal life! HMMMP. For those reasons, I wasn’t even able to go see Kristel for the public viewing. We’re catching up on everything we’ve missed due to the cancellation of classes that I wasn’t able to pay my respects to her today. This is a really big bummer for me. Anyway, I’ve got to get back on my prob sets in chem and download the powerpoints for my bio class so that I could study. Come to think of it, I may need to study during my classmate’s debut because of all of this. How upsetting.
I don’t really know if the government sees how important education is. It feels like they give it so little attention, if any attention at all. There are many unseen and unheard geniuses that don’t have the opportunity to get proper education even if they dream to do so. As I write these words down, I feel this utmost sadness, not only because I am frustrated by our educational system but because right now, I can only imagine how a parent must feel with a loss of a daughter, a daughter who had once laid out her dream on being an Iskolar ng Bayan in hopes of leaving impoverishment and giving her family a better life. Any loss, may it be of a simpleton in the street, is still a loss. I no longer want to stress out the injustice of her death as I have constantly done so but instead grieve for the loss of not just an ISKOLAR NG BAYAN but for the loss of a daughter, of a sister and of a friend. I did not know Kristel personally. I may have caught a glimpse of her as I trod the halls of UP Manila, but what I do know is how it feels to lose a person I care for. We can point fingers as to what may have triggered her decision to end her life but at the end of the day, the people who knew her, the people who cared for her, will forever be burdened by a loss that they believe could have been prevented. ‘I could have done something. I could have reached out..’, I find that it will be this unintentional guilt that will haunt them. As a friend, I would deeply feel responsible for a suicide of someone I personally know. The law may wash my hands clean, but I will forever hold in my heart and mind the ‘what ifs..’, the different scenarios wherein I could have done something to relieve him of his burden, to share his pain for a moment and ease his ailing heart. All these would linger the mind of a friend of a suicide victim, how much more of a parent? The child you carried in your womb, the child you’ve nurtured for 16 years, gone in just a blur. I can’t conceive how agonizing it must be to be reminded every single day that your child died and you could have done something to prevent it. It makes you regret all the times you may have said an unkind word to correct her, all the times you hurt and disappointed her. The unneeded guilt must be consuming them and yet people stupidly and callously give such unpleasant remarks as to why these parents own flesh and blood took her own life. I can’t even properly articulate how angry I am when I see posts in the internet blaming her parents. Do you think this is what they wanted? I don’t think Kristel would want her parents to be held responsible for her perishing, in fact if she were here right now; she would hate to see the world that’s cared so little for her until now blame the people who’ve loved her, her whole life.
I know no words of comfort would make her parents, her family and her friends feel any better, but I can only hope that in this time of mourning that they find the heart to forgive themselves of something they had really no control over because where ever Kristel is, I’m sure her passing wasn’t intended to weight on the people she loved.
OUR MATH EXAM HAS BEEN POSTPONED FOR THE FOURTH TIME. MAG TATATLONG LINGGO NA AKO NAG-AARAL. TAMA NA. MAG EXAM NA TAYO PLEASE!
What do you live for? Why is it that you wake up each day?
Most people say it’s because we’re all waiting for the great things that await us in the near or distant future but really, it’s more about the little things we experience day by day. It’s when someone tells you a kind word, it’s when someone lends a helping hand, it’s even when your hand brushes into your crush’s arm. All those little things make up the amazing things we ignore until they’ve passed. Those are things we actually look back on when we’re sad. It’s the little things that create the beautiful memories we have.
The issue regarding Kristel Tejada’s passing has caused different parties to voice out their opinion. I believe that everyone has the freedom of speech. I’m pretty sure, people view the cause of her death and it’s aftereffects in different angles. But please, at least have some human decency to show respect to someone who just passed away. If you have nothing better to say, then it would be best for you to keep your mouth shut. Someone just died, and whatever justification you might have to ridicule her death is just unacceptable. Show a little respect.
What right do you have to quickly judge someone based on what you’ve just read in the internet? You have never even met her. You don’t know what she’s been through. Suicide isn’t the best option but it’s a reality that for some people it’s their only way to relieve themselves of the burden they’ve been carrying. Do you honestly think that it was an easy decision for her to make? In all my heart I believe that she tried her best to find a reason to live, to fight but not everyone is the same; not everyone is strong. People falter. We are imperfect that way.
So unless you’re some kind of perfect person, or a god who never gets hurt, who’s never made a mistake in his or her life then shut the fuck off. Who the hell are you to talk down to someone you’ve never even met anyway?
Boohoo. No summer in the beaches of Palawan for me this 2013 and the following year because I have summer classes. Well, that’s life. Someone’s gonna give. On a lighter note, my Dad’s coming home soon, yehey! He may just be staying back at our home in the province but that’s fine, at least I’ll get to see him for a bit.
We have no classes tomorrow in honor of Kristel Tejada which means our Self-defense finals have been postponed to Monday next week. I don’t know if I should be happy about this or not. On the other hand it would mean that I’ll have more free time to study for our Math Long Exam.
I should be studying right now but I’m getting pretty bummed. I started studying for this exam weeks ago but it’ schedule keeps one getting moved. Seriously, if they move the schedule of this exam again, I am gonna throw a fit. I’m in high hopes that I’ll be a College Scholar this sem, so cross your fingers guys and wish me luck!
Gay Man: "“Excuse me?” "
Angry Customer: "“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.” "
Gay Man: "*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?” "
Angry Customer: "“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.” "
Angry Customer: "*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?” "
Owner: "“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.” "
Wife: "“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—” "
Owner: "“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.” "