My close friends and I used to just go stay in here in my condo, sneaking alcohol and some cigarettes, wondering what the hell were we doing with our lives as we idly sat on cold steel chairs, staring across the starless expanse, gin on the left and a lit smoke in the right. At that moment, I had thought nothing would change, that the stagnancy in which I believed we relished would endure throughout our stay in college yet whilst I reflect on how we once were, I am awestricken over where we are right now.
I found myself a reason, a direction to which to channel my energy towards a worthwhile cause. I became more open, my circle of friends grew bigger. I hardly have any proper sleep now, not because I sit in front of my computer the whole day but instead from having to fulfill my duties as a Sister to my sorority. Likewise my friends have also gained a renewed interest in different organizations. In such a short period of time, we all changed. The distance between the us who so bleakly aimed to simply subsist and the individuals we currently are grow bigger day by day. I do miss the ordinary days of lolling however the sense of fulfillment negates all the fatigue I’m subjected to.
We’re all growing up. It’s so sad yet happy at the same time.
I used to worry that when I entered the sorority, I’d feel left out, that I wouldn’t fit in but all those unease were quickly doused by the overwhelming support and love I receive from the beautiful women who have chosen me to be their eternal sister.
To my sisters, thank you so much for welcoming me with open arms, for guiding me through rough waters and simply for your presence. You keep me grounded and you keep me smiling even in the darkest of days. I am a better woman because of the life I have found with you and the principles we stand for and uphold.
To a lifetime of Sisterhood and service, In Truth, Reason and Justice!
Sigma Alpha Nu Sorority! <3
I see my shortcomings. I am aware of where I come short. I am a human being whose faults overflow. Does it reflect how my parents raised me? Yes, however it also discloses the flaw in how we have been bringing up our descendants, generation after generation.
I am not conveying that my parents were inadequate but rather the crippled manners of the past augmented by the environment we are subjected to has unconsciously imbued within me some of the twisted values I personally abhor.
Our forefathers prepare us to face reality. They mold us to this apparent harsh truth of life. But why should life be brutal? Why should society be ever so filled with the plague of mankind’s brusque cognition? Why are we raising our children to adapt to a world of malevolence when we should be raising them to be the change we badly need. Adults are drilling into the young minds the manners in which they simply drift though public as merely bystanders avoiding conflict, diverting from amendments whilst they persist in criticizing this macrocosm we live in. I want my child to do what he thinks is right. To respect everyone. To gaze beyond race, religion, gender and minor variations that make a human slightly different from yourself. I want him to see that he doesn’t need to conform to what the olden forces to be fact, that people can be whoever they want to be and no one else has the right to judge them for that. I want my child to be surrounded by peers who will encourage him to be himself, to accept people for who they are and most importantly to grow with love and the liberty to think for himself.
Scabs are always left in the event that our heart cracks and as much as we’d dictate that we are numb, the thought lingers the moment we look back at the past.
They say time heals all wounds and I suppose they do. Gradually, the pain will fade and so shall the memories that when we come face to face with the person who once consumed our world with engulfing passion, nothing but an empty space is left. We see a stranger, a shadow of what once was.
I don’t like Filipino shows and movies and neither am I going to put up a facade or a disillusion of which I am satisfied with the mainstream entertainment we so ‘fittingly’ address as a form of spectacle.
Lackluster, repetitive and scanty in the proceedings of being riveting.
I cannot comprehend what compels the current generation to take interest in such poorly-executed shows.
What happened to our ingenuity?
I honestly believe that weeping will solve nothing howbeit it is a given fact that in spite its inefficacy of producing a palpable remedy, the act itself frees you from your own self-loathing even momentarily. Briefly, you permit yourself to release the pang and the angst, easing the weight that pulls you down and takes hold of your wrung heart.
Yes, crying isn’t going to magically alter your circumstance but at least you’ll feel a little better.
A wave of fear drifted through the very strands of my soul, permeating it with an oscillating need to disappear and just fade away.
I just want to be lost.